all rightey mr. rabbityyy.

ok so i made a list but i realized i can't do most of the things there, because it doesn't fit not on my time but giajgbklsjfbvlasjgb! i love blogging, but don't know how to use it and i deff should get into this more cos it's like my private journal(: but not?? idk.

trip to chicago- it was just amazing. the flight was pretty rocky&scary, but i made it there safe&sound. it was cold, like worse than big bear during the winter cold. the ceremony itself was breath taking, watching 500+ sailors walk in with so much dignity, pride, &so forth. i didn't have glasses and a camera so no pictures ): except with my favorite sailor thanks to his babybro<3

congratulations dearest! u studbeast.

rock my boat, but don't sink that muthaaaaaaaaaaaaf.
i've been one grumpy person lately, and just really frustrated with everything.
BUT i know things are looking up.
when u hit rock bottom, there's no where else to go but up.

thizzz week.
i'm excited! i have some underground hip hop thannng to go to (thanks to hs!<3) i'm so in love with vintage pin up i realized. they're just so fabulous&sexy. this week is just ridiculously crazy, yet so welcoming. come on psychotic busy-ness!


sleep weep that deep.
i want to sleep, but my mind won't shut its damn imagination off. it's nice, but if u can't do ish with it it's WORTHLESS. i need to bust out my artsy fartsy side and let it flow.

manage me.
and my timeee ),: when i think about all the time i've wasted it just makes me want to kick myself and someone's soul.

ghhhhygggggggggggggggggggmjust typed that with my chin&cheek.

to do 25days.

FAIL not enough time.. ugh.

what in the chocolate tornados?!

ok so it's 437 in the am way. came back from la less than 2 hours ago. hope u berkeley&irvine&fullerton&la kids enjoyed, because it sucked being DD! >:O


Your Firsts

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
Paul&also a picture date. senior year was a pretty scandalous year.

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
fortunately, yes:)

3. What was your first alcoholic drink?
40, smirnoff, 151. not sure but i remember i almost yaked.

4. What was your FIRST job?
at a cookie place. i got FIRED ): for having a complicated schedule. somethings never change.

5. What was your FIRST car?
my kia<3 don't hate asswipes.

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
bae

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
paul. paul. paul. paul.

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
don't know. i don't remember 1st grade.

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
uhmmm korea? yes probably.

10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?
jenny, at times not as frequently.

11. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
holllllyyy mollyyy uhm ohhh this girl in oregon named laura(:

12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
Bae, "lowell is closed. off pennsylvannia? what?"

13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
my cousin, flower girllllll. fruity.

14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
"OH SHIT, wait wtf, fuck it its only 10"

15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
some musical

16. What was the FIRST record/tape/CD you bought?
Britney Spears!

17. FIRST hospitalization?
crack in the head from korea

18. FIRST foreign country you've been to?
Korea

19. FIRST movie you remember seeing?
i don't remember

20. When was your FIRST detention?
middle school

21. What did you do with your FIRST paycheck?
spent all of it in less than an hour, eating. ugh, i still do this with my paycheck which is why my fccn bank statements say -cash.

i don't know why i did this. i get random spurts of ridiculous boredom that i guess i just do everything randomly and like wtf. today is just a weird day. i don't know if i'm being handed lemons or what, but i ain't making no lemonade. the lemon juice is just like squirting into my eyes or something. my brain is on the fritz. i didn't even drink , but yet i feel fucking queasy. i need another job and a better internship. i hate working. i want to go to school. i can't remember people's names well and today i got caught when i called some guy "david" when his name was something else. i still don't know or remember his name. i meet people, but i can almost never remember their name unless there's something fucked up about them. like a weird nasty mole growing outta their neck that looks like it's going to transport its babies to me. i don't know. it's weird, but i have the worst time remembering names. and another guy thought i was someone else, i didn't like it. i never met him before. driving is a beeeeyotch. i don't like driving too much. i like other people driving me. i like being baby-d. i miss my boyfriend like no tomorrow): good morning&night*

evolution

when is meanness now part of evolution?
it seems like as i've been through more days, more years, people just get plain mean.
there are those occasional true down to truth sweet hearts, but it seems rare.
or maybe i just meet mean people.
either way, being mean is no fun.
and definitely not nice.

i miss my bursts of energy.
i guess i'm getting old and mundane.
so ugly.

fairytales

i think people live in a state of denial, most reject the truth.
why? the common answer is, because the truth hurts.

an action that bothers me the most is when there is a child involved in some fiasco.
in latest news, i would be referring to the crazy octuplets' and also her previous 6children.

it's simply not okay to have 14 kids and not have a stable income, go on tv shows promising to provide all the love&care, claim that her past didn't include much love, and furthermore ask internet donations to take care of the child.
She receives almost $500 in foodstamps.
If you can't take responsibility of your actions, then don't cause uneccessary nonsense.
I don't know what makes people think it's okay to treat children like commodities and birth of a child be so senseless.
I can't understand what the doctor who had even operated on her artificial pregnancy such to even think this was okay.
It upsets me to how some people are so selfish to just think in their interests and not the child's or in this case childrens.

As I am so in love with Law and Order, CSI, House, and so forth it just upsets me how some people are just plain selfish and stupid.

Deadlines

I really need to prioritize&manage my life better.
I miss deadlines, rush, &just live in terror of not finishing whatever I need to.
Ughhhhhh.

Excuse my language, but. FUCK what u heard or thought.

Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind, so don't assign me yours.