bye bye bullshit.

i'm feeling o-raht.

i guess i need to do some readjusting, reorganizing, re-prioritizing.

i've lost sight of my goals&dreams, but fuck it i'm 19 and i'll find sobriety and all that goodness soon enough.

ugh why does everything sound so overdramatic and ugly in life today.

it's not the rain, because i adore the gloom-doom looking days.  it's nice.  change from the sunny cali.

fatass status.

i need to get workin on ma body.

my diet sucks, as in what i normally eat is really horrid.

this is another to do list, along with the prioritizing.

friends.

are so vital and important in life i realized.  a best friend, homegirl can mean so much and everything can turn around in a split second.  sad, yet it's the truth.

when you find someone, make sure to keep them tighter than that stuffed doll u used to keep during those scary adolescent life.

or you can just fuck that doll and get yaself a new one, ha.

fucking FUCK FUCK FUCK.

fuck is such a beautiful word.  but it's a whore, everyone uses it and it gets meaningless.

drinks are not on me, for once.

pass the bacardi over to the person to my left&right just not me.

ok my eyes and mind are failing me.

aga jaba gada gone.

priorities&life

ok so it's 2eleven in the morning and i just finished cleaning up taco bell's bombass fully loaded nachos off my floor, the book i was reading, which the title i don't even remember, and something else.  oh wait i forgot to text someone.  done.  okay so a few things i've been realizing these days..

i'm shallow.  very shallow.  like today, i went to a kick back with a hs friend of mine and boy was it lame.  i had decided on going straight edge cutting out all the unnecessary shit i put in my life such as alcohol&so forth.  back to the point- kickbacks are fucking lame.  i don't know what i was thinking to think it was all so fun.  i mean it had pretty much the same people involved, but not quite.  i don't know it was just lame, no offense to dirty sanchez of course.

ok so me being shallow.  i am very shallow, and i don't think it's necessarily a bad thing.  i mean why should i talk to some kid who doesn't go to school, have a job, or car?  he/she should have enough sense and respect and feel responsible enough to do that for themselves.  i ain't rolling with no scrub.

i am really gross i realized.  when my boyfriend isn't around i look and feel like some crackwhore.  for example, once again, today.  right now i still have my make up on from earlier which includes some vsecret turquoise glitter eyeshadow, blush, eyeliner, etc.  and yet i haven't washed it off.  it's just on there like some used up drugged up crackwhore.  oh and i haven't showered for two days, which isn't bad considering my ass was in bed literally for 23 hours cos i've been sick off my ass.  two days isn't bad, i've been trying to go on this not washing my hair trend, but it hasn't been working.  two days is pushing it like seriously, girls who do do it for more than three days i say- you're a fucking sick ass.  wash your hair.  it's dead protein yo.

being sick sucks.  i'm not trying to be a whiny biyatch, but i seriously fucking thought i was going to die yesterday.  i didn't even get to go to work and being a money hungry selfish person i RARELY miss work.  i freaking had a ridiculous fever and it was just horrible.  now i'm up at two nineteen with a horrrrrible headache.

i like being straight edge.  i mean sure sometimes i'll want a sip of this or that, but really i don't.  bad habits die hard indeed.  fuck what anyone has to say, my body's going greeeeeen.

obsessive much- i get easily obsessed with little unnecessary things in life and waste all my time on obsessing over whatever it is i am obsessed over.  like, right now i've been thinking about my boyfriend.  i say it's unnecessary, because i'll see him in about seven hours yet i'm just about to wake him up and ask him to meet me now.  he's like this neverending drug of i don't know cos sometimes he makes me angry, but yet i'm so deeply into him.  i thinks its because we balance each other well.  like yin and yang.  i'm the psychotic frantic who freaks out and bitches about everything whereas he's more of the laid back homeboy who just makes you relaxe.  i can't spell but what evaaaa.

christmas is coming.  blast that christmas holiday tunez&spiritz yo!  i love it and it makes me sad.  sad knowing it'll be the last christmas i spend with my pumpkin): my nose is runny.  i need to seriously wash up.  all the make up and crap on my face is bugging.  especially the mascara.  why do i even put this crap on?  i decided i'm going on a make up strike.   i think paul's extremely cute.

i'm going to clean my room i decided.  i realized i'm a very unappetizing girl.  my room's always a mess, i'm impatient, potty mouthed, and today i drank a taco bell drink from three or four days ago cos it was just sitting there.  not too clean.  haha i just thought "new years resolution" my ass.  ok time for some tv rama & cleaning.

work hard.  play harder.  pray hardest.

love&dissappointment.

OH MY (*$%&*)$(% GOD.

okay so i waited three days, THREE DAYS, for Left for Dead to download on my cousin's laptop (it doesn't work for Macs so I had to borrow my cousin's) and it lags like hardcore.  I sat in front of my computer three hours STRAIGHT last night as soon as I got home and waited for the damn thing to download.  Never in my life have I been so disappointed and saddened.  Darn there's no emoticons to add.

<<Backtrack.<<

Yesterday I drove two hours to play L4D at the boyfriends house and he wouldn't even let me play (why?  Cause his friends were on a mission to finish the game).  So then after we got to his work, I kicked off his friends playing at the cafe next door and got to play for like an hour and a half.  It's the most amazing game EVER!  It's like my two favorite lovers combined into one.  Gun game + 28 Days later (Zombies) = Love of my life<3<3<3<3.

Now.

I am at a library typing and just chilling and this crazy lady comes to me from the other side of this desk-bunk thing and tells me to stop clicking and typing so loudly.  My reaction- I got freaking scared, she like popped out of nowhere so my face looked like the white baby pictured below.

I don't know how to resize these pictures and i'm too lazy.

I should have given her a big FUCK YOU but that's rude and rude people suck.

God this picture is huge..

I love white babies.

Here.

Work.  Is.  Suck.  Ass.  Actually i'm not working so i guess it's not "Here."  I haven't worked all this week and tomorrow I'm scheduled for like five and a half hours and I really don't want to go to work.  I'm very thankful for having a job, but come onnnnnnnnnnnn I just want to read and sleep all day.  and eat.  i'm starving.

THANKSGIVINGGGGGGGGG

Turkey time.  Turkey is amazing.  I am going to go home and eat some of the left over Popeyes Chicken I bought a day or two ago and pretend it's turkey since I don't have any turkey at home.

Okay I should stop my jibble jabble now.  Lgkjwoigja peeeeeAce

oh what the?!

It's 12:04am and what am i doing?  i am watching an alien movie.

i have no idea what the title is, but i know the Rock from WWF (now WWE) is in it.

a guy just got his face ripped off, that's what's up.

people. learn. some. fucking. manners.

i think it's just ridiculous when

 people have no manners.

what did your mama/papa/guardian teach you in life?

it's not hard to say "thank you" or "excuse me." but it is easy to make a bad situation.  it bothers me when people are rude, especially when customers are being ridiculous to any type workers.  learn some fucking patience&manners then practice them.

oh my gah.  L4D!!!!

Left for Dead seems like the sickest zombie game ever.

If you didn't know, I absolutely love anything that has to do with zombies.

My recommendation if you haven't seen it already, watch 28 days.

I'll even let you borrow it, actually no I won't, cos i'm selfish and don't trust people with ma shiet.  actually i might, just ask.

side note: i get to play L4D today in about 14 hours.  It came out 3 days ago, look up the game on youtube if you want to see how crazy that game is.  I will definitely be having to talk about it more on my next blog.

"procrastination is like masturbation"

i heard this saying and i guess i can somewhat relate?  it doesn't sound right.

basically procrastination is just horrid.  puts everyone in a horrible mood and rush.

This was under "graffiti art."  I want to have the ability to create such artwork, I can recreate it (after hours of frustration), but it wouldn't be original.  I appreciate the folks who take time and care to create beauties like this.  I do not appreciate folks just trying to leave some crap without any thought.  Creativity is a beautiful thing, embrace it y'all.

"you are about to meet someone that loves you in a way you deserve to be loved."

This is every girl's, anyone's dream to find and really fall for a someone who treats them how they deserve to be treated.  Why does this have to seem like a far away fantasy?  I mean it's a basic thing that everyone deserves and wants to be treated with this simple fact- respect.  I believe if you respect someone enough, there shouldn't be any discrepancies on what should and should not be done.

how does one get to be a tv show host who eats and talks about restaurants on tv?!  i would love that job.

carpe diem.

i need to get my act together.

-----------------------

relationships&&breakups.

i don't know my exact stance on relationships.

if my sister/girlfriends were to ask me whether it was a pro or con i would be stuck.

considering the fact that i am in a relationship, i do the pros& also the cons.

i feel like the biggest fact is that no one leaves any relationship without baggage.

memories are memories.  yes they will fade, but how long does that take?

i highly doubt those memories, any memories really go away fast enough.

looking back at any relationship of mine or friends, they stay with you longer than any wishes.

attention deficit disorder

i believe Americans, most are effected with this disorder.

random quickie.

birthday blur-

it was amazing beyond words.  after years of going out to fancy shmancy restaurants you start craving the best: home cooked meals!  that's what i'm talkin bout.  momma chef spent hours making the traditional korean dishes&my american favorites.  gotta love my momma's skillz.  then my boyfriend took me out to castaway, it was delicious and very sweet.  i still woulda liked that sex in the city cocktail though, ha i kid!  no to alcohol kids.

the closer-

iit's on and there is a thanksgiving meal, breakfast that looks like a thanksgiving meal actually, but it looks amazing.  this show is amazing, kyra sedgewick (?) is such a charismatic character and actor in this.  oh oh OH!  trivia, who has a tramp stamp on her back?  yeap ms. sedgewick does indeed, random no?

pictures-

spices many things up.  so i should definitely download minessss.

oh wait, how do you download on this.... ughhh....

here's some pictures from chuck e cheeseee.  i absolutely love this place.  i am definitely going to throw my future babies birthday parties here til there fotttyyyy fiiiiibe.

this is paul hazelton.

"he looks like he's in a vagina."

-anonymous.

he looks ubber happy.

this is how phillip hazelton likes to play video games.

that's a full on head protection gear used for some hard

core asss kicking.

i ain't hating, i appreciate it.

today was peppero day!  i did not know this, but it is korean tradition, i believe, to give out the chocolate covered biscuit pretzel delights.  and i actually got some while i was working.  i love ya anny<3

and speaking of this devilish girl...

what a candid.  what memories with this girlie.

i should give her a copy of this picture, kakaka.

this entry took two days.  my mind has not been on the important things and has been finicky.  alkdjaoivjaflgjrdaflgj done.

vaaaat?!

first p0st.

my first presidential voting...  did not even count, HA.  funny?  i don't think so.  i drove about 20minutes to get to the wrong polling place, then barely make it before they close, and right after i vote the boyfriend texts me telling me obama won.  terrific.  whateva, at least i met some old homeboys/homegirls that supported me and even nominated me their one and only last voter.  i love the elderly.

dos audience

work.  was disgusting.  yes pastor charles (he gave a sermon on becoming a better worker/student, etc), i am taking the steps into being grateful for my jobS; however, my co workers aren't doing so and they're slacking +more.. 

    *un, at my first job.  my two female co workers decide it's suddenly okay and sanitary to throw up/vomit/puke in the sink we wash all our blenders and dishes in, and not clean it.  grrrreeeat!  then throw up in front of the store when there is a line of customers, and once again just leave their what looks like raisin chunks.

    --pro: my manager unaware of this whole vomit fiasco dismisses these 'dirty girls' off home.  the sink floods, and there is was squatting in a sea of human regurgitated who knows what.  i thought it was funny.  he was touching it and hahahahha what a douche haha.

     ==karma?  my transfer to the other coffee place still hasn't happened.  i've worked here for about 3months and still that transfer promise hasn't happened.  fun fun fun!  i get to work with the throw up dirty i-dont-clean-my-shit girls.

six o(what the fuck) clock in morning (it would be seven if we weren't on daylight savings frenzo)

i underestimate the fact that i can't wake up and still decide to schedule work bright and early.  trickery of the mind.

driving

it's getting better...?

"why does it smell like eggs in your room?"

my sister said that to me.

here's what happened...

i farted.  it was a moderate one, not too comfortable or warm.  

and it smelled like eggs.

(i was on the phone) "i farted and it smells like eggs."

then my sister just clambered to my room and says egg room comment.

i didn't think it was that bad.

.the psycho korean moms.

this year has been by far the trickest year yet.

i've met my fair share of psychos and it seems like i'm on a psycho-attracting-magnet.

i mean my mom is cool, so what the duck is up these other korean mom's asses?