Saturday, January 24, 2009

2009

has been treating me well.  It's been sincere, generous, furthermore has given me hope.
As this New Year has started and a new chapter opened in my life.  I'm not only excited but really anticipating every new step.  Maybe not every one, but I'm truly blessed for everything that's happened the past year and the chance to make more memories and experiences this year.

Somethings been keeping me up lately, and yes it is anxiety, stress, worries, etc.  I haven't been doing my usual devotionals and I know its having a toll on me.  Yet I still refuse to do them.  Devotionals have always been hard and they continue to be so hard): I'm not excited about this fact and need some desperate rearranging of the mind.

February 2nd.  The dreaded and lovely day.  This is the day that my better half, Paul, leaves for the Navy.  It's a bittersweet moment considering I am happy and mad at this moment in time.  It brings him all the training and necessary things for his future, which I am more than happy to support and love.  BUT it also means we would be apart and I would not be able to enjoy his oh so fabulous companionship.  Yes, it is selfish and very childish, but I admit I am so damn attached to him and what he stands for in my life.  Today as we spoke of his remaining days I wanted to just knock him out, take him to my house, and lock him up.  But reality and also common sense sets in and once again you just have to accept and embrace CHANGE.  I used to think change was such a fabulous thing, but after my rough year '08 I am really enjoying everything in the present.  Gah.  I am so not looking forward to saying my good lucks and such to him):