Jane Lullaby: Thoughts, doings, & whatever else comes to mind.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
what in the chocolate tornados?!
ok so it's 437 in the am way. came back from la less than 2 hours ago. hope u berkeley&irvine&fullerton&la kids enjoyed, because it sucked being DD! >:O
Your Firsts
1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
Paul&also a picture date. senior year was a pretty scandalous year.
2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
fortunately, yes:)
3. What was your first alcoholic drink?
40, smirnoff, 151. not sure but i remember i almost yaked.
4. What was your FIRST job?
at a cookie place. i got FIRED ): for having a complicated schedule. somethings never change.
5. What was your FIRST car?
my kia<3 don't hate asswipes.
6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
bae
7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
paul. paul. paul. paul.
8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
don't know. i don't remember 1st grade.
9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
uhmmm korea? yes probably.
10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?
jenny, at times not as frequently.
11. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
holllllyyy mollyyy uhm ohhh this girl in oregon named laura(:
12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
Bae, "lowell is closed. off pennsylvannia? what?"
13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
my cousin, flower girllllll. fruity.
14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
"OH SHIT, wait wtf, fuck it its only 10"
15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
some musical
16. What was the FIRST record/tape/CD you bought?
Britney Spears!
17. FIRST hospitalization?
crack in the head from korea
18. FIRST foreign country you've been to?
Korea
19. FIRST movie you remember seeing?
i don't remember
20. When was your FIRST detention?
middle school
21. What did you do with your FIRST paycheck?
spent all of it in less than an hour, eating. ugh, i still do this with my paycheck which is why my fccn bank statements say -cash.
i don't know why i did this. i get random spurts of ridiculous boredom that i guess i just do everything randomly and like wtf. today is just a weird day. i don't know if i'm being handed lemons or what, but i ain't making no lemonade. the lemon juice is just like squirting into my eyes or something. my brain is on the fritz. i didn't even drink , but yet i feel fucking queasy. i need another job and a better internship. i hate working. i want to go to school. i can't remember people's names well and today i got caught when i called some guy "david" when his name was something else. i still don't know or remember his name. i meet people, but i can almost never remember their name unless there's something fucked up about them. like a weird nasty mole growing outta their neck that looks like it's going to transport its babies to me. i don't know. it's weird, but i have the worst time remembering names. and another guy thought i was someone else, i didn't like it. i never met him before. driving is a beeeeyotch. i don't like driving too much. i like other people driving me. i like being baby-d. i miss my boyfriend like no tomorrow): good morning&night*
Your Firsts
1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
Paul&also a picture date. senior year was a pretty scandalous year.
2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
fortunately, yes:)
3. What was your first alcoholic drink?
40, smirnoff, 151. not sure but i remember i almost yaked.
4. What was your FIRST job?
at a cookie place. i got FIRED ): for having a complicated schedule. somethings never change.
5. What was your FIRST car?
my kia<3 don't hate asswipes.
6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
bae
7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
paul. paul. paul. paul.
8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
don't know. i don't remember 1st grade.
9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
uhmmm korea? yes probably.
10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?
jenny, at times not as frequently.
11. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
holllllyyy mollyyy uhm ohhh this girl in oregon named laura(:
12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
Bae, "lowell is closed. off pennsylvannia? what?"
13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
my cousin, flower girllllll. fruity.
14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
"OH SHIT, wait wtf, fuck it its only 10"
15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
some musical
16. What was the FIRST record/tape/CD you bought?
Britney Spears!
17. FIRST hospitalization?
crack in the head from korea
18. FIRST foreign country you've been to?
Korea
19. FIRST movie you remember seeing?
i don't remember
20. When was your FIRST detention?
middle school
21. What did you do with your FIRST paycheck?
spent all of it in less than an hour, eating. ugh, i still do this with my paycheck which is why my fccn bank statements say -cash.
i don't know why i did this. i get random spurts of ridiculous boredom that i guess i just do everything randomly and like wtf. today is just a weird day. i don't know if i'm being handed lemons or what, but i ain't making no lemonade. the lemon juice is just like squirting into my eyes or something. my brain is on the fritz. i didn't even drink , but yet i feel fucking queasy. i need another job and a better internship. i hate working. i want to go to school. i can't remember people's names well and today i got caught when i called some guy "david" when his name was something else. i still don't know or remember his name. i meet people, but i can almost never remember their name unless there's something fucked up about them. like a weird nasty mole growing outta their neck that looks like it's going to transport its babies to me. i don't know. it's weird, but i have the worst time remembering names. and another guy thought i was someone else, i didn't like it. i never met him before. driving is a beeeeyotch. i don't like driving too much. i like other people driving me. i like being baby-d. i miss my boyfriend like no tomorrow): good morning&night*
Thursday, March 5, 2009
evolution
when is meanness now part of evolution?
it seems like as i've been through more days, more years, people just get plain mean.
there are those occasional true down to truth sweet hearts, but it seems rare.
or maybe i just meet mean people.
either way, being mean is no fun.
and definitely not nice.
i miss my bursts of energy.
i guess i'm getting old and mundane.
so ugly.
it seems like as i've been through more days, more years, people just get plain mean.
there are those occasional true down to truth sweet hearts, but it seems rare.
or maybe i just meet mean people.
either way, being mean is no fun.
and definitely not nice.
i miss my bursts of energy.
i guess i'm getting old and mundane.
so ugly.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
fairytales
i think people live in a state of denial, most reject the truth.
why? the common answer is, because the truth hurts.
an action that bothers me the most is when there is a child involved in some fiasco.
in latest news, i would be referring to the crazy octuplets' and also her previous 6children.
it's simply not okay to have 14 kids and not have a stable income, go on tv shows promising to provide all the love&care, claim that her past didn't include much love, and furthermore ask internet donations to take care of the child.
She receives almost $500 in foodstamps.
If you can't take responsibility of your actions, then don't cause uneccessary nonsense.
I don't know what makes people think it's okay to treat children like commodities and birth of a child be so senseless.
I can't understand what the doctor who had even operated on her artificial pregnancy such to even think this was okay.
It upsets me to how some people are so selfish to just think in their interests and not the child's or in this case childrens.
As I am so in love with Law and Order, CSI, House, and so forth it just upsets me how some people are just plain selfish and stupid.
why? the common answer is, because the truth hurts.
an action that bothers me the most is when there is a child involved in some fiasco.
in latest news, i would be referring to the crazy octuplets' and also her previous 6children.
it's simply not okay to have 14 kids and not have a stable income, go on tv shows promising to provide all the love&care, claim that her past didn't include much love, and furthermore ask internet donations to take care of the child.
She receives almost $500 in foodstamps.
If you can't take responsibility of your actions, then don't cause uneccessary nonsense.
I don't know what makes people think it's okay to treat children like commodities and birth of a child be so senseless.
I can't understand what the doctor who had even operated on her artificial pregnancy such to even think this was okay.
It upsets me to how some people are so selfish to just think in their interests and not the child's or in this case childrens.
As I am so in love with Law and Order, CSI, House, and so forth it just upsets me how some people are just plain selfish and stupid.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Deadlines
I really need to prioritize&manage my life better.
I miss deadlines, rush, &just live in terror of not finishing whatever I need to.
Ughhhhhh.
I miss deadlines, rush, &just live in terror of not finishing whatever I need to.
Ughhhhhh.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Excuse my language, but. FUCK what u heard or thought.
Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind, so don't assign me yours.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
2009
has been treating me well. It's been sincere, generous, furthermore has given me hope.
As this New Year has started and a new chapter opened in my life. I'm not only excited but really anticipating every new step. Maybe not every one, but I'm truly blessed for everything that's happened the past year and the chance to make more memories and experiences this year.
Somethings been keeping me up lately, and yes it is anxiety, stress, worries, etc. I haven't been doing my usual devotionals and I know its having a toll on me. Yet I still refuse to do them. Devotionals have always been hard and they continue to be so hard): I'm not excited about this fact and need some desperate rearranging of the mind.
February 2nd. The dreaded and lovely day. This is the day that my better half, Paul, leaves for the Navy. It's a bittersweet moment considering I am happy and mad at this moment in time. It brings him all the training and necessary things for his future, which I am more than happy to support and love. BUT it also means we would be apart and I would not be able to enjoy his oh so fabulous companionship. Yes, it is selfish and very childish, but I admit I am so damn attached to him and what he stands for in my life. Today as we spoke of his remaining days I wanted to just knock him out, take him to my house, and lock him up. But reality and also common sense sets in and once again you just have to accept and embrace CHANGE. I used to think change was such a fabulous thing, but after my rough year '08 I am really enjoying everything in the present. Gah. I am so not looking forward to saying my good lucks and such to him):
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